Sound the klaxons, scream it from the mountaintops, gather the villagers from their huts and clink every glass in the cabinet, for the FINAL and official word on the ideal penis size is here and it is dogma.
It is 6.3 inches, or 6.4 inches for a one-time encounter. Six Point Three. Six Point Four.
That’s the end of it. Stop Bing-ing questions about penis size. You’re done now.
A new study from the University of California and the University of New Mexico took 75 women, aged between 18 and 65, and presented them with 33 different-sized 3D penis models made of rigid, odorless (very considerate), blue plastic to “minimise racial skin-color cues.”
The results found that the average preference was for a penis that measured 6.3 inches in length and 4.8 inches around. Whereas for a one-time sexual encounter, the average plastic penis the women chose was larger, measuring 6.4 inches and 5.0 inches in circumference.
This is a bit problematic, because the average male penis is 5.2 inches long and 4.6 inches around, as revealed last year in a global study of 15,000 members.
But don’t worry too much, according to the same study, only 2.8 per cent of men have an abnormally small penis, so the chances are you should be ok.
And if you’re not? Well, there’s help out there.